The Great British Holiday

Completely unrelated to bikes (alomost). I read General Lucifer (from LFGSS) summing up of his weekend with his extended family and it was so entertaining that I thought I'd post a little detail from it here:


His stupid dog bouncs at me.
I rub it's head, it's floppy ears.
"Nice dog. What's it called?"
"Yeah, it cost seven hundred quid!"
"I said what's it called."
"Cookie."
"Cookie?"
Cookie, as in cunt. He knows that. My younger brother's wife is from Thailand. Everyone there says 'cookie' instead of cunt. He knows that. Much to her massive embarrassment he lets the dog of the lead so it can bounce all over the fucking field, while he shouts 'Cookie! Cookie!"
And looks right at my brothers wife.
She squirms.
I sigh.
Eventually the dog comes back.
He grabs it by the scruff.
"Watch this."
Reluctantly I watched.
My brother snarls menacingly.
"BE CLEAN! COOKIE, BE CLEAN! CLEAN!"
The cowering dog pisses itself.
My brother looks triumphant.
I shake my head.
"Marvelous. Well done."
I go to get a drink.


I thoroughly recommend you go read the rest here on LFGSS.